Things I Learned From Breaking Off a Long Term Relationship.

Back in May I ended things with my boyfriend of 4 years. Long story short, he wasn’t treating me with respect and after years of being treated badly it was time to leave. I’ve learned a lot from ending that relationship and I thought I’d share with you that list. Just a side note, my blog posts aren’t in any chonological order, I just write what’s on my mind for the day whether it’s from the past or present.

1. You CAN break things off….you are not obligated to suffer through a bad relationship. You are not married yet and the purpose of dating, for most people, is to ultimately find your life partner. If things aren’t going well, the dating stage is the time to break it off, even if it’s been 4 years, before you’re married and facing divorce which is a much bigger deal.

2. A rough-patch is not always a phase. As you get older you can either grow together or apart in a relationship and, as much as you may want the relationship to work, sometimes things just don’t get any better. I thought the way I was feeling was just a phase, that I’d be madly in love with my boyfriend again after a couple months. I thought about breaking up with him for 6 months before I fially gained the courage…and I’m really glad I did.

3. FRIENDS are fun BOYFRIENDS are work. It’s pretty simple, relationships are work. As much as having someone to snuggle up with is great, chances are your friends would be willing to cuddle with you too…or take you out for five drinks and take duck-face pictures with  you that you laugh about later on Facebook.

4. Don’t be a rebound and don’t have a rebound. Rebounds are just Bad News Bears.

5. When it’s 2 am and you’re alone you will think of your ex, but for the love of God don’t be an idiot like me and text them!

6. You are wise. I have found that people admire me for having a long-term relationship at such a young age and that they also admire that I had the strength to break it off.

7. It might take awhile to get your groove back. We all have some bad dates so don’t be sad if the next guy you meet doesn’t turn out to be your soul-mate.

8. Finally, you’re stronger than you think! I know that sounds fairly cheesy, but you’ll be surprised at how much shit you can go through and still come out on top.

All The Good Ones Are Gay or Taken.

About a two months ago my friend introduced me to one of her friends at a bar. We started having a few drinks and then he began hugging, kissing and groping me all night. It was a fun night and a tiny piece inside of me saw a little potential in this guy. He was pretty cute and by the end of the night he ended up giving me his phone number and then he told me to text him the next day. I was already having a bit of a rough day the following day, having my ex trying to contact me, so I was hoping to be able to chat-it-up with this cute guy. I texted him that evening but he never texted me back. I was slightly bummed, I’ll admit, but I overall brushed it off considering that we were both pretty inebriated that night. I didn’t really think much of it after that day. Well, a couple weeks ago my friend asked me “Do you want to know the real reason why he never texted you back?”. I replied “sure”, since I was just a little bit curious. Well, come to find out, he’s actually GAY and cheated on his BOYFRIEND with me that night. Yup, all the good ones are gay or taken, it’s true…and of course that would happen to me. HA.

Tattoo Guy and The Era of Sexy Pics.

I got my first tattoo done back in May of last year by a tattoo artist a friend of mine had picked out. She had the biggest crush on him but I didn’t think much of him at all, I was just extremely nervous about the whole tattoo process. I was actually quite embarrassed with this artist, who was a very quiet guy; because I had to stop about every five minutes to drink some water so that I wouldn’t pass out. He was nice enough to be patient through my wussy-ness and gave he both my friend and I great tattoos. We were both so impressed by his work that we followed him on Instagram and I ordered one of his shop’s T-shirts…he just seemed like a super cool dude.

A few months later this guy began “liking” many of my photos and even added me on Facebook. My initial reaction was that he just wanted to keep in touch with his clients, being that he was a very new tattoo artist to the area and perhaps was hoping for referrals. Honestly, I’m a friendly person so I didn’t think much of it at the time…well, until one night.

Perhaps I brought it on myself, ever-so-slightly, by posting a picture on Instagram calling my lips “DSL” (if you don’t know that term, go Urban Dictionary that shit). For the record it wasn’t a sexy picture in the least bit, it was just a joke. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m playful and I often make inappropriate jokes like that, but all in good fun. This guy later messaged me on Facebook inquiring about the “DSL” statement. I should probably mention that this man is married, he mentioned his wife during the tattoo session and she’s tagged on his Facebook page. Married. This was an odd message from the get-go, but I stupidly played along. Within the next five minutes I was kicking myself for doing so because now he began to ask other sexual based questions. I was really surprised and I didn’t know how to respond. I have no interest in this guy, he’s freaking married…but as an insecure young woman, I enjoyed the attention a little bit, I’ll admit. This guy, who I met once and barely talked to, took a liking to me, it was almost flattering. Sadly, I knew this situation all too well, though. He quickly started asking for sexy pictures and I had to end the conversation (a conversation that I admit that I never should have been a part of to start with). I was creeped out, I mean, how awkward is that! I was hoping to get more tattoos from him in the future…but I’m thinking that wouldn’t be the smartest idea anymore.

After this ordeal, I couldn’t help but to reflect how a man’s mind works. Do they really think with their dicks that much? There has been countless times where a guy strikes up a conversation with me that quickly turns into him asking for provocative pictures. Many of my other college-aged friends have experienced this same thing as well. These men ask with such confidence, that I’m certain that there are women out there in similar situations who DO oblige. Which brings me to my next point; have we really gotten so caught up in this instant-gratification world, that we expect this from one another? Is a sexy picture the new way to express interest in somebody? I worry for younger girls because while I’m insecure, I know that some girls suffer from even greater insecurity. That’s my biggest concern with this new “norm”; it takes away the mystery, makes sex more casual, and can easily exploit people. Do we just accept this? I’m not so sure, to be honest, because I’ve been caught in amidst of it all. At the core, we all have this need for attention; it’s a very basic human instinct that we strive for throughout our entire lives. This need feeds on people like me and this guy…someone so insecure, and someone so dissatisfied in their current relationship, that there’s an excitement when attraction is presented. It admittedly hurts my head to think of how this “sexy-pic era” will evolve because of our attention-seeking society. If you like someone do you send a boob shot and call it a day? Who knows? But man, thank goodness Facebook has a delete button.

Well, anyway, here’s yet another creepy guy to add to my sad, sad, rolodex of weird men that I meet as a young, single woman and once again my reputation for awkward things happening to me exceeds itself.  So… does anyone know of another good tattoo artist around here?