Back in May I ended things with my boyfriend of 4 years. Long story short, he wasn’t treating me with respect and after years of being treated badly it was time to leave. I’ve learned a lot from ending that relationship and I thought I’d share with you that list. Just a side note, my blog posts aren’t in any chonological order, I just write what’s on my mind for the day whether it’s from the past or present.
1. You CAN break things off….you are not obligated to suffer through a bad relationship. You are not married yet and the purpose of dating, for most people, is to ultimately find your life partner. If things aren’t going well, the dating stage is the time to break it off, even if it’s been 4 years, before you’re married and facing divorce which is a much bigger deal.
2. A rough-patch is not always a phase. As you get older you can either grow together or apart in a relationship and, as much as you may want the relationship to work, sometimes things just don’t get any better. I thought the way I was feeling was just a phase, that I’d be madly in love with my boyfriend again after a couple months. I thought about breaking up with him for 6 months before I fially gained the courage…and I’m really glad I did.
3. FRIENDS are fun BOYFRIENDS are work. It’s pretty simple, relationships are work. As much as having someone to snuggle up with is great, chances are your friends would be willing to cuddle with you too…or take you out for five drinks and take duck-face pictures with you that you laugh about later on Facebook.
4. Don’t be a rebound and don’t have a rebound. Rebounds are just Bad News Bears.
5. When it’s 2 am and you’re alone you will think of your ex, but for the love of God don’t be an idiot like me and text them!
6. You are wise. I have found that people admire me for having a long-term relationship at such a young age and that they also admire that I had the strength to break it off.
7. It might take awhile to get your groove back. We all have some bad dates so don’t be sad if the next guy you meet doesn’t turn out to be your soul-mate.
8. Finally, you’re stronger than you think! I know that sounds fairly cheesy, but you’ll be surprised at how much shit you can go through and still come out on top.